Wanna try it again?
OK
I hate it when you do that I have to practice
Not on my horse
I wish the two of you would just get along
It’s not like we’re at constant war or anything
Argo doesn’t like me
Sometimes you have to have patience with things that annoy you
Oh, I never said she annoyed me
I wasn’t talking to you
Oh, funny,very, very funny
There’s a road on the other side of those trees
I’ll meet you there bring Argo
You go on We’ll catch up
Be nice Make sure the saddle’s tight
Make sure the saddle’s tight?
Hey!
Are you Xena?
Yes
Thank the gods
Sorry
Talmadeus is trying to take
Lord Seltzer
He’s attacking the factory
You have to save him
Calm down Who’s Lord Seltzer?
He’s the most wonderful
giving unselfish man the gods ever sent to our valley
Hey,this is good
See,I knew we could get along
Please
Xena will be so surprised
You stupid, conniving, four-foot daughter of a, mare?!
All right
We have him!
Talmadeus will reward us all tonight
You see,he wanted your head by nightfall
It’s gonna be the centerpiece on his dinner table
Wouldn’t he like a nice bunch of flowers, instead?
Orchids are lovely this time of year
And I look terrible with an apple in my mouth
Burn it down!
Swords!
Xena!
Oh, Xena! A little help here!
Important person being kidnapped!Hello!
To make this work we have orders for this water
We need back-up
You know what this is? It’s water,fizzy water
He’s making money selling water
Salmoneus!
Ix-nay on the Almoneus-Say
Here, I’m known as ‘Lord Seltzer’
Salmoneus--
Why is Talmadeus after you?
He’s after my secret elixir
You see, when I came to this town,
the people had no zip, no energy
I mean, let’s face it,their get up and
go just kind of lay there and Ptthhh!
But after my magic elixir they felt better
Productivity went up living conditions improved
What did you sell to Talmadeus?
Me? I never sold! I,all right, one little transaction
I, I,I sold him some
ah,talcamite swords and belt buckles
What’s talcamite?
It looks and feels like metal until it gets wet, and then it dissolves
Well, how did I know it was gonna rain on the big battle?!
Anyway, the swords and belt buckles melted
One big, naked defeat?
It wasn’t pretty He’s not gonna stop until he has me
drawn and quartered You’ve gotta get me out of here,please
We’re not leaving these people at the mercy of Talmadeus
he’ll kill them all
Xena, please
Oww! Gorney!
Watch that water pressure, will ya?!
If you want something done right you gotta buy the right people
How does he manage to do that? Stay alive
He must have a guardian Moray or something
OK, so, what’s the plan?
The plan is to make Talmadeus realize what he’s up against
Lord Talmadeus
Where is Salmoneus?
We had him at his factory when this,this woman showed up
She fought with the strength of Ares and the speed of Hermes
Xena!
I must have Salmoneus
Is that wise? I mean, with Xena in the picture
What if she wants Salmoneus, too?
This man’s blood is mine, not Xena’s
He made defeat out of certain victory;
he made a fool of my army he made a fool of me!
If I have to go through a dozen Xena’s
to get my hands on his scrawny neck I will!
Stay in formation! Keep your eyes open!
Yes, sir
Xena!
Something’s wrong
What’s happening?
No!
I’m the man who killed Xena!
OK
Go, Argo
Go! Go! Go!
Did you see that?I had her I had her
Maybe it’s a trap
No, I saw the fear in her eyes She’s run for her life
This was really a stupid time to try to keep something from me
I didn’t know how much Talmic poison was on the dart
It doesn’t matter
If there was even a chance of your being sick, you should’ve told me
You could’ve gotten killed!
Gabrielle-- yell at me later
How bad is it?
I still don’t know
My legs are almost useless I can’t feel my feet
My arms’ll probably go next
You’re gonna pull through, right? I mean, it’s not
It’s gonna get worse before it gets better
OK,I’ve been thinking about things and I’ve made some decisions
You have?
Yes Somebody has to take charge
Someone has to have the initiative to get us out of this mess
Somebody has to take command
Now,any ideas where we can find this person huh?
We’ve got the person Xena’s gonna be all right
Yeah, I know that you know that;
but, Talmadeus has a different slant on the thing
He thinks you are well, the way you are
Then, we’ll just have to convince him that I’m OK
Uh-huh,and you propose to do that exactly how?
Oh, no
So, what do you think?
OK, so it’s a little bigUh, well, tighten it for me
Talmadeus is sure to attack us and when he does, we’ll be ready
When Gabrielle makes her appearance as me it should be enough
So, I just stand there and
I, I,wave this fake chakram and give that yell-thingy of yours
And can you give that yell-thingy?
This is not gonna fool Talmadeus
See, now that could work!
Salmoneus, go round up your workers we don’t have much time
Done
Come here
Now, Gabrielle, listen carefully
Now,I know you’ve been in battles before but this one is different
I want you riding in and out of there quickly
Riding? That would mean Argo
No,she doesn’t like me
She doesn’t hate you
I thought you had a pony when you were young
I did His name was Tympani
Did you leave Tympani with your sister?
No,actually, he got very sick one day and why
I thought he would get better, but
it’s just what happens with things that you love
Sometimes they just leave you
Yes, it’s me
Now look We have to call a truce, OK?
All right, now you,stand back The gallop whistle
Argo!
Yeah, see,
I must have a different definition for the word, uh, gallop
I thought the whistle was this
How certain are we that Xena isn’t going to interfere?
Ah! You saw what happened Talmadeus defeated her
She’s probably half-way to Athens by now
What’s that noise?
Thought you’d come back for some more, did you?
Does she seem smaller than before?
This is your only warning either leave this valley
forever or suffer the wrath of Xena! Up, Argo!
I always bow to my enemies before I destroy them!
She’s bluffing Get her!
This is your last warning!
The man who gets her, gets her! By Talmadeus’ orders!
Get her!
Ready!
Get her!
up!
Now!
Shake! Aim!
Fire! Advance! Fire!
Retreat!
Xena!
I can’t tell you how much we appreciate what you’re doing here
We don’t have much to offer but it’s all yours for the asking it
Lord Seltzer means the world to us
That’s OK I’m sure Lord Seltzer is more,concerned with
his people than with himself
Oh, indeed, indeed Now, I’d like all the corks
stored and inventoried, OK? To the cork room very good
Sweet people,not a business brain among them
If you just, give me a few moments to make my peace with the gods please
I made sure the guards were posted
Good,now let’s get everybody out of the factory
Tell them to go home board up their houses and stay inside
Talmadeus’ focus right now is here
Xena, can you just stop thinking of everybody else for a second?
There’s gotta be something I can do for you
Don’t worry about me What did I tell you? Focus
We’ve got Talmadeus on his heels You need to hit him at his camp
A direct attack will really make him cautious Take these
Xena, are you gonna die?
It’s not about me It’s about these people
That’s why we’re here People like this used to be my victims
I keep that in mind every time
we come up against a warlord like Talmadeus
It’s the greater good remember that
Gabrielle
if it does happen
I want to be taken back home to be buried
next to my brother, Lyceus
Go on, now
I’ll be here when you get back
I don’t care if she is back
She’s not gonna keep me from Salmoneus
I’ve beaten her once I can do it again
Incoming!
We’re under attack!
It’s Xena!
Save the weapons!
Don’t panic, you fools! Get organized!
Save my tent first!
Get those guards in position!
You’re not Xena!
Where is it?
I hate uninvited guests
So,it was all a trick
Xena was covering for some weakness
I almost fell for it
Brilliant
Maybe, you’re falling for it right now
Maybe my being captured is the trick Have you thought about that?
I can’t help but admire your bravery
Too bad I have to kill you
Y, you don’t have to
Oh, don’t worry
you’ll soon have plenty of company on Charon’s boat
I’ll make it quick
Yeah!
Kill the horse!
Hah, you’re not gonna kick me,
you stupid horse!
Go! Ya! Go, Argo! Go!
Get the horses!
No! Don’t waste the effort
Oh, somebody konked me
Xena?
Xena
This is a trick, right? Come on
Proud warrioress
I will miss you
Any word from Kalus?
Ah, no sir, nothing
Maybe the Warrior Princess is still alive
That’s the kind of talk that paralyzed this army
That’s exactly what Xena wanted
This entire valley, is mine for the taking
And it’s time I started
Xena!Xena, we’ve got trouble!
Wait a second
Salmoneus, get out of my way!
Wait a second!
What?
No
OK, there’s nothing we can do here We’ve gotta get out of here
That’s what I think What do you think?
If we can move these barrels we can make a defensive wall
that will take days to breech
Defense? Breech?
And when you’re done with that gather as much wood as you
can without leaving the area
How long can these people hold out against Talmadeus’ army?
Long enough for me to get to Labottie I think Iolaus is there
If you’re leaving this valley I am coming with you
I am not gonna be killed Talmadeus will do both of us
This is not about you or me, Salmoneus It’s about these people
Now, that’s why we’re here why Xena was here
We are staying and fighting for the greater good
Get to work
I have to focusI have to focus Xena said to focus
All right, I know what I have to do
Take me, take Xena, and, and let the people go
You’re a man of your word, right? Just checking
Now,where’s Xena?
She’s at the factory She’s dead
Now remember we have a deal, right?
Yes, yes, don’t worry I’m an honorable man, as you say
GoLead my army to Xena Bring her and the villagers here
When I know she’s truly dead then I’ll let everyone go
Salmoneus, Xena dead, and a whole village of slaves to be sold
it’s turned out to be a good day
OK, I fulfilled my end of the bargain Now make me proud
to have done business with you and let these people go
Bring out Xena’s body
You heard him Right
Who killed Xena?
I don’t know
You don’t know
It’s obvious, and soon the entire world will know
I killed her!
The great Talmadeus has taken down the Warrior Princess
But, business is business,
and a good businessman just gives what he is given
You gave me talcamite weapons and I lost a battle
I’m giving back Now, selling
these people of yours to the slavers is good business
We had a deal! Hey!
Bring out the horses
Let’s tear this carcass limb from limb
I like her spirit
I’m taking my friend and we’re leaving Got it?!
You fight well I might ask you to join
I’m taking her home to her brother
I can see you’re determined
Put her on the horse, now!
How long do you think you can keep this up?
The moment your head turns, the moment your eyes flicker,
I’ve got you, and you know it
You don’t even know how to hold a sword
You people are pathetic!
Such nobility such a complete waste of time
Tie Xena to the horses!
All right, finish it!
That’s Xena’s horse,kill it
Xena?!
Xena!
Don’t you ever touch my horse again
Get her!
Yeah!
Glad to have you back Don’t you ever do this again
Gabrielle we’re in the middle of a fight!
Leave, quick, run, quickly!
At least I get my revenge on you
Think again
Thank you!
I’m glad you’re not dead
It would have robbed me of this
Well, it would have saved me from your breath
I’m glad to see you two are getting along
Well, the best of friends are made in strange situations
And Argo’s OK,I mean, at least, I know she doesn’t hate me
She’s still too tall, though And I am angry with you I mean,
I really thought that you were, you know
I was
Talmic poison shuts everything down
I had to go under with it just to fight the effects;
I didn’t expect to be under it so long, is all
You still don’t know who hit you with that dart
Whoever it was sure knew what they were doing
We just have to figure out why
Gabrielle
when you thought I was dead
you risked your life to try and take me back home
It was your last wish For all that you’ve given me
and all the times that you saved my life,
I would go to Tatarus and back just to carry it out
I used to wonder whether I’d ever make it back,now
I know that, one way or another, I’m going home one day
Thank you
Change the subject I’m gonna get all soft on you
We wouldn’t want that, would we?